Stories, stories, stories galore!
Hey writerwrong can you post more of your story? I really want to read more of it.
Here's a new story:
Back in the days when frogs were being kissed and princesses were sleeping far longer than they would like, there lived a young girl the age of ten. She lived in the kingdom of Kertlejuse with her mother and father. Her father owned a tavern called the Kertle Kettle. He often boasted to visiting relatives saying, "We put the 'juse' in Kertlejuse." Unfortunatley, this was not true. His tavern was so unpopular that he didn't even have to worry about guarding the money box. Yes, I know, sad. Her mother, then, got a job as a maid in the castle. In fact, it was there that she gave birth to her daughter. It was this fact that led her to christen her Castella.
22 Comments:
ehehehe the last few sentences are kind of repetitive with the word fact. sorry about taht.
Nice maryann nice. Okay here is part of a story long time coming.
remember its just a clip.
"Pish posh periwinkle turn my cat into a fiddle," Joshu said proudly in front of Mrs. Abot.
"Okay mr.Ketsu if that was supposed to be a comic relief it deliberately failed. Saraih lets see you try." A short pudgy looking girl got up and stoood in front of the class.
"Stars mars forces of notion turn my cat into a potion" Saraih said with a smuge expression.
.....................
"Do you mean to tell me that Jabar is up to his neck in mischief?"...
"Yeah and it gets worse, Princess Adelaine is missing!"
Where there is the dotteed line is the beginning of a new scene. I didn't want to give you the good parts because it would give it away. But what do you think?
I like it its its cool. nice rhymes too. wonderfulh
heres more
In fact, it was there that she gave birth to her daughter. It was this detail that caused her to christen her baby Castella.
Castella spent most of her childhood in her grandmother’s small cottage on the outskirts of the village, since her parents were working all day. The cottage was surrounded by a natural fence of pine trees which, to traveling strangers, gave the home a hostile look. But once you came to the other side, “hostile” would not be a word to describe this abode. A beautiful garden full of roses, pansies, and daffodils filled the yard with stepping stones leading to the door. A bird bath sat on one side of the house in which you could usually find birds cooling off on a hot summer’s day. On the other side was a small table with an umbrella and chairs. Castella and her grandmother would often take a rest there from gardening to have fresh orange juice and lemon cakes. It was the sort of place where no one could ever feel lonely.
The inside of the cottage was much the same. There were pots of flowers in every nook and cranny you could find. There were also all sorts of things to interest yourself with, so you could never be bored.
Castella often found herself in the cottage’s attic. It wasn’t the sort of attics they have nowadays all crowded and dusty and dark. It was, in fact, quite the opposite. In one corner was a neat shelf with all sorts of books. Most were too hard for Castella to read at first but she read all the ones she could. They were mostly about fairies and princesses but the ones Castella liked the most were the ones about ordinary people going on quests and adventures and meeting unusual people along the way.
Nice maryann nice.
Here is the beginning of that clip i put earlier.
The sky was dark and dreary, the air was filled with mystery. Mr. Jabar pinckernickle slowly walked to the train station to do some unfinished business with the train master, Lorene Lemark. He approached her nodded gave a wink with his right eye and entered the train. Minuted later he was joined by Lorene. What they talked about is still unclear to mefor their apartment doo had been slid shut therefore cutting them off from world communication. One can only guess what went on in there. And i am almost 100% sure that it was bad business, real bad. There were other individuals on this train one of them being Mr. Sam Ketsu and his son Joshu. Another was Mrs. Sally Lane and her Daughter Saraih. Many other people occupied the train but they are of no importance to the story.
"Mom why in the world do i have to go to finishing school? Don't you think me finished enough?" SAraih impatiently asked her mother.
"WEll...hmmmmm thats interesting.." Sally repliedstarring at the newspaper wide-eyed.
"mom...mom...mom!" Saraih yelled in a desperate attampt to get her mothers attention. Her mother was however taking not notice of this and was scanning the newspaperfor information, and here is what she found:
Article 5 Paper 12
MISSING CHILD
On the eve of November 7 a tragedy hit the nation. Beware this will shock you. Princess Adelaine of only 12 years is missing. Experts on the case say....
I think that is enough for now hehe.
nice julie. I like the setting and the way you started it. cool. But what did you actually think of mine? is it even worth writing more on?
Maryann what i truly honestly think of yours is that well ummmm..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................It is totally RADICAL dude. I like your name and what she does and you just want to know what happens in the story. Is she a princes?? Will she marry a prince?? Will she go on adventures with Churtle her dog?( i just made that part up) MAryann don't get discouraged keep writing It is an Awesome Idea and story!!
Okay here is a little bit more of mine from where you left off.
Experts on the case say that the last person in contact with her was her servant Marsh Ketsu of Walsh. They were last spotted in Adelaine’s room going to bed. The next day they were gone. With Adelaine gone the kingdoms at a threat, will the Urgens take the thrown? Or will Adelaine be found?
Written By,
Losh Forbes.
cool julie i like it. I wasn't getting discouraged i just wanted to know what you thought. you know get some feedback. can you ask sarah to post more of her story? thanks
here is some more
They were mostly about fairies and princesses but the ones Castella liked the most were the ones about ordinary people going on quests and adventures and meeting unusual people along the way.
The books weren’t the only unusual objects in the attic. In fact, they were probably the most usual. In the middle of the room was a circular table covered by a sheet. An odd looking object jutted out in the middle. Castella’s grandmother told her not to look underneath it, but what child in the right mind wouldn’t? Castella found that the object on top of the table was merely an odd shaped bowl. She didn’t understand what was so special about it. Of course, she would’ve asked her grandmother, but then her disobedience would have been revealed. So she lived in question for quite a long time. Until one day.
On this fine day, Castella and her grandmother were sitting out in the garden enjoying some iced tea and cantaloupe. Castella was watching a blue butterfly fly from one flower to the next, sucking up the pollen, when suddenly her grandmother spoke up.
“Castella, do tell me, what did you find underneath the sheet in the attic?”
“What do you mean?” Castella asked, although she knew very well what her grandmother meant.
“If I know you, and I think I do, having had you over everyday since you were one, I know that you could not resist looking under that sheet for these past years,” her grandmother said, smiling.
“Well…”
“Ah, yes, I knew it,” she said still smiling.
“I just found an odd looking bowl,” Castella said.
“Just an odd looking bowl!” her grandmother exclaimed. “Tell me, how many times have you looked?”
“Um,” Castella shrugged.
“Obviously not enough times to figure out what it was!” her grandmother exclaimed not unkindly. “I expected more from you Castella.”
“What do you mean?” Castella said again, confused. “You told me not to look, but now your chastising me for not looking enough?”
“No, no Castella,” her grandmother replied laughing, “no, no. Come, let us go explore this ‘bowl’ and try to figure out what it is.” Her grandmother stood up still laughing softly.
SArah even though i don't really know the whole story it reminds me of a japanese anama or how ever you spell it. Its a bit dramatic but thats always good. Like i said i don't really know the whole story but what i read is cool. Its sounds a bit romantic but hey don't judge a book by its cover.hehe
yeah i like the story. some parts are kind of confusing the way you wrote it or there aren't periods so they kind of combine together and make it hard to understand. and could you brief me on what dynamic flair means? i suppose i'm not fluent in the language of critics.
nice sarah i like it. Its interesting and i can imagine it pretty good too.
heres more
Her grandmother stood up still laughing softly. They walked through the garden and into the cottage.
“Now, Castella, watch carefully,” her grandmother said once they were in the attic. She lifted up the sheet to unveil the “bowl”. “Hmm, I suppose it does look like a bowl,” she said softly to herself. She chuckled and then ushered Castella over. “Tell me what you see,” she said, “and don’t just say ‘a bowl’.” Castella searched the bowl trying to find something out of the ordinary. The bowl was multicolored, it looked very much like the colors oil makes in water.
“I…I don’t see…” Castella started still staring at the bowl, “wait a minute. What’s this?” She pointed to a small crystal protruding from the side of the bowl.
“Ah, yes! You have found the secret. Try twisting it.” Castella obeyed, but nothing happened. She looked at her grandmother for an answer but her grandmother seemed to not be paying attention. She was staring out the window. Castella shrugged and tried pushing the crystal. Shimmering liquid poured into the bowl from, it seemed, the bowl itself. It flowed until the liquid was about halfway to the top.
Sarah are you going to finifh that storie and get it published and become rich? Because that is definantely possible. But i know it is always good to get some criticism so all i would have to say is to describe Adiline more because i can picture the scene but i don't really know what she looks like. Maryann your is turning out wonderfully irealyy really like it, areyou gonna get i tpublished whe nyour done? very nice job maryann very nice.
This is the revised version of the other beginning.
The sky was dark and dreary, the air was filled with mystery. Mr. Jabar pinckernickle slowly walked to the train station to do some unfinished business with the train master, Lorene Lemark. He approached her nodded gave a wink with his right eye and entered the train. Minutes later he was joined by Lorene. What they talked about is still unclear to me for their apartment door had been slid shut therefore cutting them off from world communication. One can only guess what went on in there. And I am almost 100% sure that it was bad business, real bad. As the train slowly rolled down the track a number of interesting occerences happened all at once. In compartment two Mrs. Sally lane and her daughter Sariah found out some very shocking news. In compartment five the train master witnessed an occerence of the most peculiar fashion done by Joshu Ketsu. And on the cuboose of the train an old withered man was tossed onto the tracks. And this is where the real story begins. Mr. James L. Font was the name of the gentlemen who was tossed from the trian. His agilitly in this action showed years of expirience on his part, and I don't mean that his usuall activities were being tossed from trains.
"Yon dern scoundrels!" James scowled looking back at the angry train mobbers who had caused this misfortune. James had no where to go but back to the train station and away from the society he was used to being in. You see there is a little secret about James that I think inevitable you understand. James belonged to a secret organization called SRP.He was on the train going to Scottsburg to have a very important meeting with Mr. Sam Ketsu. Yes, Joshu Ketsus father.
julie yours kind of reminds me of a series of unfortunate events book in a good way in a good way. Sarah yers is real interestin like. You explained it good so i can imagine it. touche. I don't really care which one you work on you just work on whichever one you like.
I decided to change the story but from the beginning to this part is the same. Which one do you like better?????
The inside of the cottage was much the same. There were pots of flowers in every nook and cranny you could find. There were also all sorts of things to interest yourself with, so you could never be bored.
One day, Castella was playing in the backyard when she stumbled on a rock and fell into a hole in the ground. She hadn’t ever seen this hole before, so it was all quite shocking. It took her awhile to realize where she was and when she did, she wished she hadn’t. For the hole was in fact a den. A den of an animal. Of an unknown animal. The hole was too deep for Castella to climb out of and she feared that when the animal came home, it would not be too happy to see her in its den. At last she realized that there was no use worrying about it, she might as well try to think of a way to get out before it’s too late. She looked about the den and noticed a few things that led her to think that this was not an animal den, but maybe a gnome’s hole. There was a pile of sticks that appeared to be firewood. Also there was a stone structure with a hole in the middle, probably a fireplace. Either way, the owner was most likely not going to enjoy her company. She was about to give in and send herself to her death, when she noticed that there was no bed, not even a pile of leaves to sleep on. This led her to believe that there must be another room somewhere. She looked about in the dimness trying to see an opening, but her eyes, sadly, cannot see well in the dark. She then decided to feel around all the walls until she fell through, that is to say, she found an opening. But that idea failed also. Just when the light outside was beginning to fade, somebody fell into the hole
SArah write more on your Adeline one please!! I am not trying to dis your other story because i have not even read it so i am not yet intruged(though when iread it im sure i will be) but this one is GOooooooood! Maryann I am lovin it bade just lovin it! But who fell into the hole? You let us ata cliffhanger. Where you left off isprobably where Lemony Snicket would end the Book.
This is pretty much where you left off. tell me what you think?
James belonged to a secret organization called SSPRP.He was on the train going to Scottsburg to have a very important meeting with Mr. Sam Ketsu. Yes, Joshu Ketsus father. Unfortunately as you have read this was no longer possible. Although this story is mainly about James for the time being we will be refocusing our attention on a different matter.
Chapter 2
Sariah Lane
Saraih Lane slowly walked down the hall awaiting her punishment. She finally reached a door marked SSPRP Captian. She knocked and awaited a reply.
"Yes," a grim voice said from behind the door.
"My name is Saraih Lane and I was sent here by Lorene," Sariah replied. No answer was heard.
"Hello?" Sariah asked incrediously. No answer was heard. Finally she turned the doorknob and walked in. Noboby was there. She decieded to sit down on a chair in there and await her company. Not before long she was asleep.
"Oh, how could this have happened? How?" this is what Sariah awoke to.
"I had no idea this was possible sir," Saraih heard the scratchy voice of Lorene say. Sariah thought it best not to be noticed as being awake. She kept her eyes closed.
"Yes unfortunately me neither," the voice that Saraih woke up to said again. "And where was luteinant Font? I thought he was on his way to Ethelstains Castle to nagotiate terms."
"But so did we all," Lorene replied. "Do you wish me to take this one away?" She asked. He must have nodded because Saraih then felt a gentle shake and opened her eyes.
"Sweetie...honey...Its time to wake up. Unfortunantely Mr. Thatcher was not able to see you he was called away on business. But thats okay ain't it darling?" Lorene said. This was probably the scariest moment of Saraih life. Picture waking up(or at least pretending to wake up) the and old wrinkeld lady, with few teeth, thin scragely gray hair, evil shinning eyes, warts in various places over her body and a small mischevious smirk on her face. Scary I know. Saraih squinted her eyes so as not to have nightmares got up and followed the old lady out. Although Saraih had Seen Lorene many times before never ever had she been nice to her and Saraih thought Lorene much more scarier when she was trying to be nice. Once out of the room Lorene dropped the act truned toward Saraih (relieved that she was being mean again) and said:
"What do you think you were doing you ungrateful little twirp," she scowled.
"I was-"
"Don't give me any explanations, I know what you were doin. You were snooping around his office trying to get some grub out of this eh? eh?" She questioned. Saraih was rarely a smart alik with a teacher but when she was falsely accused she jumped into hyper gear.
"Excuse me Lorene, but do you suffer from short ter mmemory loss?" Saraih said quite quickly.
"How dare you say that to me young lady!"
"Hey at least I'm young!" Saraih shouted.
so which version do you guys like better? well actually i think i'm going to continue on the new version, it seems more interesting whether you like it or not! haha so heres some more.
Just when the light outside was beginning to fade, somebody fell into the hole. The being wiped dust out of…was that hair? And then looked up. “It” was in fact a grubby boy about Castella’s age.
“Hello,” Castella said quietly. The boy, who seemed not to have noticed Castella, looked up shocked.
“Okay, what do you want from me, witch?” the boy demanded angrily.
“What? I’m not a witch. For you information, I am actually the daughter of the owner of the best tavern in Kertlejuse!” she said indignantly. Like her father, she enjoyed boasting. The boy frowned at her. “Is this…is this your den?” Castella asked him.
“No,” the boy said curtly. “It’s yours, is it not?”
“No, I stumbled into it,” she replied.
“Me too. Wait a second, what were you doing in my backyard?” the boy asked angrily.
“Your backyard? It’s my grandmother’s backyard!” Castella replied hotly.
“You’re mad!” the boy exclaimed. Then suddenly there was noise from above.
“Hush!” Castella whispered.
“You hush!” the boy muttered. Castella glared at him and looked out the hole. After nothing happened she went back to the boy and held out her hand.
“My name is Castella,” she said. The boy didn’t shake her hand. “What’s yours?” she demanded.
“Um…Coyer,” the boy said.
“Nice to meet you Coyer,” Castella stated. After a few minutes went by in silence, she said, “It’s dark.”
“Obviously,” he muttered.
“You’re very rude, I hope you now,” Castella said angrily.
“I’m just trying to figure things out in silence but you keep on saying pointless things!” the boy exclaimed. Castella’s face went red, and she turned from the boy and sat in a corner as far away from him as possible. Not long after, she fell asleep.
julie yours is interesting, but its kind of confusing because saraih is on the train and then suddenly shes somewhere else...but i guess it is a mystery (or is it?) I like it though its cool.
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