Its Time
Its time to turn over a new leaf in the writing world. Bring our imagination to it fullest strength create masterpiece stories where nobody will ever be left alone!! Dun Dun DAAAAAAAAAAAA. Ponder theses thoughts and come up with something brilliant beyond brilliant.
Sincerely ,
Jac
29 Comments:
nice. it seems like a real story...well i guess it is. hee hee. its very descriptive. i like it.
I am not going to say what i usually say because you have heard it over and over and a real writer never runs out of feedback. I love the name choices very fitting for their character, or what i know of their character. I Liked all the vocabulary very charming indeed, description was perfect to the T. I don't exactly understand the first sentence, but that might be my lack of knowledge. I overall wanted to keep reading i felt like i was there and I really truly, and im not just saying this, think its a keeper and you have written a story brilliant beyond brilliant!
I would like to make a proposal. I propose that we have a story competition. BY August 21 I we should all have written a story No matter the length just a complete story. We print them out and SArah can let people their choose their favorite, likewise. I do think we should make and keep them unanimous. What do ya think?
ok. are we going to let each other read them before then? like get feedback and stuff or just keep it secret?
Share the love.
ok heres a starter
Lerwok was a charming little village. Set at the edge of the sea, it had walls along the south side to prevent the enormous waves from drowning the inhabitants. To the north and east were wheat fields and to the west was the famous Grogian Forest. Yes, the Grogian Forest.
uh..thats all for now.
I likey. Here is a start. Its called THe Teapot That Spoke Words.
Why had this happened to her? She was nothing special. Was she? Anyway it wasn't fair. Mary Louis Ray did not deserve what she got. And i think all of Strutton would agree. Mary louis life was trying before she got trapped in a wooden cage that looked like a teapot. Her mom dies when she was one. She had to leave the beautiful farm house for a crowded apartment building and she was deserted by her father at age 15. Her life wasn't just hard either it was strange and all this strangeness started when she was no older than four. Let me take you back to a blue sky and a bright sun shinning overhead. Mary Louis and her father were sitting on the outside porch of their small, but cozy farmhouse looking into the trees beyond.
"Now mary louis you see that really tall tree?" James Ray, her father asked.
"Uhh huu," she replied.
"That is called an oak tree, and an oak tree will never let you down."
"But pappa its just its just a tree," Mary louis said.
"Oh nonesense, your to young now, but oneday you will understand."
"I miss mamma," sobbed Mary louis into her dads shoulder.
"We all do."
cool julie, i like how it cuts right to the chase. shnazzy.
Ok, heres a bit more
Yes, the Grogian Forest. The village was made up of small brick huts with thatched roofs. Some of these huts were used as family businesses, the shop being in the front and the living quarters in the back. The lord’s manor was on the southwestern side of the village, against the wall to the sea. The manor was huge. From the uppermost window, one could see above the sea wall and clear out to the Rinharl Island. It could house more than one hundred people, although only five actually lived there. Lord Ventrus believed that in order to be powerful, you must appear powerful, hence the size of his house. Ventrus and his wife had three children. Each of his darling daughters boasted their own wing of the manor and their own set of servants.
do you guys have any more written on your stories? if you do i would like to read them.
Okat if you insist.
Now that is just the beginnig of her story, the very beginning. THis next occurance occurs four years later on New years eve. They no longer enjoyed the placid farm life, for now they lived in a crowded apartmnet building. It was always a custom in their family to throw a new years party and so they did.
"Oh James dear
i lke it ju. heres more of mine.
Each of his darling daughters boasted their own wing of the manor and their own set of servants. Vera, the oldest at seventeen, even had her own dining hall for guests. Clothed in golden fabric and shining silver dishes, it was almost as grand as her fathers. Only once had she used it, but she bragged about it to her friends. Ventrus’s youngest daughter, Daniella, who was only five years old, had five ponies, six swans, and her own dolphin, which was cruelly kept in an old swimming pool. His middle child, however, had but her wing and servants and that was all. Ventrus often called Calia a disgrace to his family. Reasons being, she had freed one of Daniella’s past ponies, made friends with commoners, and (gasp!) gone swimming in the ocean. Calia also did not have the appearance of a noblewoman. While her sisters and parents had shimmering blonde hair, Calia had frizzy brown hair that often stuck out all over the place. Her only accomplishment, her father said, was that, although she was only twelve, she was far more advanced in her studies than her older sister. This was because she did not have many friends, besides her commoner ones who had to work all day. So she sat up in her wing’s tower and studied history, Latin, geography, and arithmetic. The tower was circular and covered in windows. Calia had decorated it with maps of the world and dried flowers and herbs she had collected on one of her many walks through the Grogian Forest.
Nice maryann.
I like it sarah, it is very descriptive and seems real.
yeah. If you want to change the due date to a later day we can.
She walked along the empty path with a skaptical expression. Would their plan to reunite the two cities be fumbled or would they triymph. THey had been atwar for 3 years now, how could two young people bring peace. Well someone had to do it. As these thoughts swirled through venassas head a creature jumped into her path. Unknowingly Venassa stepped on it tail, agrivating it deeply.
"Oh, pardon me," she said politely.
"Pardon me, ehem, pardon me, ehem, pardon me," it replied. Venassa knew all about these sort of creartures infact she once owned one. They are call Gigmeopuffs, they repeat whatever they hear until they hear something else, very disturbing creatures. VEnassa knew that talking to the creature would do know good and that she was on a very tight schedule to complte their plan of peace. So she continued walking. Gregory a young boy of about 15 stumbledover a glass slipper as he ran through the busy market. Recovering himself quickly he turned about to see his predator, the shoe.
"Oh dear father, pull over and help this young man, for he tripped on my shoe," a girls voice called out. It was then that Sophia Gaardinel, the dukes daughter ran toward Gregory.
"Oh dear let me help you," she symphonized.
"Thank you for you concern, but i really must get going," Gregory said.
"Oh how dreadful that you must depart so quickly, I haven't even heard your name or, or thanked, or...oh dear look at your leg," sophia gasped for gregorys leg had a shard of glass in it from the slipper and blood was slowy oozing out.
"Oh miss it is really nothing I've been thorugh much worse."
"You really must let me help you sonsidering it was my foolish foot that lost my slipper
cool story pretty interesting. catches my interest. cool.
I altered the beginning of my vanessa story here is it.
Vanessa walked along the empty path with a skeptical expression. Would their plan to reunite the two cities be fumbled or would they triumph. They had been at war for 5 years now, how could two young people bring peace. Well someone had to do it. Vanessa, however, was the most unlikely candidate; she was the daughter of a poor farmer who abandoned her because he could not take care of her. She had spent her whole life with the queens maids, daughter, who although had some connection with the queen was nothing more than a lowly citizen. Her name was Agustine Julienne. After she accepted Vanessa into her family she was shunned by her mom and totally forgotten. Vanessa received nothing but regret from her “mom” and never really had a nice caring family. Vanessa spent many horrible years with Agustine and was brought up all wrong. When the war broke out Vanessa was 10 and was quite oblivious to it. Although everyone’s life was altered Vanessa’s wasn’t, she was used to eating little amounts of food and sleeping on rags. Her life, however, was altered about 3 years later. Vanessa’s “mom” was invited to the palace for tea, and was ordered to bring the child. Agustine was not about to upset the queen so she dressed Vanessa into her finest gown and they walked up to the castle. Agustine was simply overwhelmed with cockiness and superiority. As she and Vanessa walked down the gold plated floor Agustine began to think that she was her mom, that she had the privilege to wait on the queen. When they arrived at the queen’s chamber the door was swung open and they floated in as gracefully as they could.
“Now dear lady, I thank you for coming up here, and on such short notice,” the queen said.
“Oh, your worship it was not at all a problem for someone as high up in the hierarchy as I am.” That is when the queen most likely realized that Agustine was crazy, for she was basically the lowest member of the hierarchy.
“Oh, that’s nice,” the queen said a little hesitantly. “Um, I’ll just get right to the point, this young child is with no doubt the daughter of Carl Creeves, a lowly farmer.”
“Why, indeed miss you have done your research,” said Agustine smirking madly.
“Yes, well then there is nothing left to discuss, Vanessa will stay here and live with me, and you may leave, have a nice day.”
coo ju. i don't know about you guys but i don't think i will be able to finish a story by the 21st since that is tomorrow.
sarah yours is cool also. i want to read more of both of you guys'!
SArah that is a rad tadical story and is just encapturing. I do not think i will finish my story tomorrow. yeahh./
I like the soudns of that.
alright alright.
I hope you enjoy.
“Yes, well then there is nothing left to discuss, Vanessa will stay here and live with me, and you may leave, have a nice day.” Agustine was truly awestruck as was Vanessa. The only logical thing Agustine could think to say was, “what?!”
“Well, yes, Vanessa will stay here with me, if you disagree well there really is not much you can do about it. I would let you visit her but I am afraid we will be moving to the northern side of the city during our warmer seasons, I am sorry to see you displeased but like I said you have no say in the matter, good day.” At that the queen grabbed Vanessa’s hand and they left the room. No one really knew what became of Agustine, some said she died of a heart attack that very day, but some say she is still alive, lurking in the forest planning some kind of revenge against the kingdom. Vanessa life after that day was very wonderful, she was never informed on why she was to live at the palace, but she could not have cared less. It was here at the palace where she met Gregory, the stable boy. He was a year older than here but never acted a day older than six. He would often times pretend he was a great warrior battling demons or a magician putting spells on cities. Vanessa would always watch him from her window before dinner, wondering who he was and admiring his great imagination. They met no longer than a month after she arrived. One day he saw her watching him and asked her what she was all about. She told him that she enjoyed watching him play games with himself. He then asked her if she would like to join and so she did and they became inseparable. It has been 3 years since then and Vanessa and Gregory are on a dangerous mission, battling demons like they used to pretend. As Vanessa continued down her path she began to think about Gregory and found herself smiling. Earlier that week when they had devised this plan he had been so eager to get started and so excited to finally be on a real quest, she wondered if he was having as much fun as he had wished to have.
Gregory on the other hand was thinking nothing of that sort all he was thinking of is watching himself for he was running through the busy market. All his concentration was wasted when he stumbled over a glass slipper, recovering himself quickly he turned around to see his predator, the shoe.
"Oh dear father, pull oh over and help this young man, for he tripped on my shoe," a girls voice called out. It was then that Sophia Gardinel, the duke’s daughter ran toward Gregory.
Oh dear let me help you," she symphonized.
"Thank you for you concern, but i really must get going," Gregory said.
"Oh how dreadful that you must depart so quickly, I haven't even heard your name or, or thanked, or...oh dear look at your leg," Sophia gasped for Gregory’s leg had a shard of glass in it from the slipper and blood was slowly oozing out.
"Oh miss it is really nothing I've been through much worse."
"You really must let me help you considering it was my foolish foot that lost my slipper.” As she said this she smiled very beautifully that Gregory lost all sense of time, and importance and said “Uh hu,” very stupidly.
Here is more
uhh huu," very stupidly.
Now Gregory was no stupid duck but he had his weak spots, ladies, and games. He could be in a life or death situation and if a pretty girl walked in he would loose his senses. Or if he was about to be crowned king and a sword fighting game presented itself he would be off at the speed of lightning to play it Sophia however was not just any girl she was a rich cute girl. She had long golden hair that curled just at the right spots. She had ocean blue eyes that glittered in the sunlight, and her face was beautifully done up in makeup that she appeared to have no blemishes. Sophia took Gregory into their carriage and told her butler that they were ready for departure.
“Now Gregory do tell me about yourself,” Sophia said after they were slowly trotting down the lane.
“Well, I um, I, I, I work for the palace in the stables,” Gregory said hoping to impress Sophia.
“Oh that’s marvelous. So you spend many quality hours at the palace then?” Sophia replied.
“Oh yeah, practically like all day every day,” Gregory said.
“Its got to be really swell to be able to be in the presence of the queen and know all the latest news, you do no what’s happening at the palace don’t you?”
“Of course, I mean I do work there.”
“Splendid, so you must have friends, do tell me about them.”
“Well living in the palace doesn’t allow me to have common folks as friends, but the queen did adopt this charming young girl, we spend many hours playin- I mean drinking tea in the parlor.”
“Oh I do think I’ve heard of her, isn’t her name Vanessa or something?”
“Yes, Vanessa, she is really a cute kid.”
“You don’t happen to know why she is at the palace I mean its like you said you don’t want to have common folk around you and especially living in the palace, I heard,” Sophia dropped her voice to a whisper “I heard that she had no real parents and that she lived with the queens maids daughter who went mad and turned into a witch.”
Gregory was totally taken aback, he couldn’t imagine Vanessa being that girl, that girl sounded do lowly and desperate. He decided to change the subject.
“So who are your friends?”
“Oh your know Princess Clarisse of Rodenburgh, Janet the count, and Cindy the duchess, but you don’t need to know about me, I mean I am practically royal everyone knows enough about me, more about you. You said you work in the stables, I bet you have pretty strong muscles.” At this remark Gregory got very stuffed up with pride that he didn’t care what happened after that or what he said.
“Well, yes it is natural for men like me to be pretty strong. Vanessa, she never notices these things so I guess I had hardly noticed.”
“Well, Vanessa is just a common girl with silly dreams as usual,” Sophia said.
“Yeah she came up with this silly plan to bring peace to this war, imagine it scum like her, ending this war, impossible.”
“Yes, very impossible, I bet it is a funny story, did she tell you this plan? I bet it is just to die for.”
“Yeah, she plans to go to Castle De Blanc on the far side of River Bleu, and negotiate with the princess there, her talk to a princess, ha!”
“Yes, ha, indeed, did she tell you the rest? Really I must here it haha.”
“Yes, while she is over there doing her silly “plan” I was supposed to go to Harper Hall and talk with Count Franco and then, ha, it gets even better I-,” Gregory stopped because the carriage had come to a screeching halt.
“Mr. Gregory sir, Miss Sophia we have arrived at the river Bleu and must transport ourselves onto a boat,” Sophia’s butler said.
julie i like it a lot i want to read more!!
Come on guys post some of your stories, i know im not the only one who is working on one! Come on i know you got it in you :)
i know i sound like a broken record player but sarah your story is interesting and you are really good at describing things. i mean really good.
Sarah i like your story and i love how you munipulate the reader into suspense
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