More Mr. Mailman

As the sun rose over the town of Felder Bart rose along with it. He wandered into his kitchen to poor himself a bowl of cereal, stopping to pick up his newspaper along the way. As he ate his breakfast and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes, Bart flipped open The Felder News and began perusing it. It contained the usual “hang technology” paraphernalia, a few advertisements for the town dance on Friday, and a classifieds section for those seeking employment. Bart smiled to himself when he reached the end of the paper and hadn’t seen a single thing about Lucy Smith, Gary Smith, or himself. He hummed his way back to his bedroom to don his mailman attire when he heard a thud on his door. Fearing the worst, Bart peeked out his window to see who was there. His lot looked empty. He cautiously edged to his front door and pulled it open, waiting for Cynthia to pop out. But nothing happened. He looked about but saw nobody. As he was about to shut his door, Bart looked down to find a pamphlet tied to a rock by his feet. “ah,” he thought, “that explains the thud.” He brought the pamphlet inside, and the color soon drained from his face as he read its contents. Bart wanted to laugh at the blatant lies Cynthia was spouting, but kept reading.

SCANDAL IN FELDER

By Cynthia Weaver

My fellow citizens, friends, and neighbors, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this information. We have all worked tirelessly to keep the Great Progression at bay and for that I feel we all deserve a large pat on the back. However, there is one among us who most decidedly deserves no pat. His name, as most of you know, is Gary Smith. He is known by some as the owner of a small, inadequate bookstore called “Peacocks,” but he is known to me as a traitor to Felder’s economy.

As most of you know, Mr. Smith’s wife and daughter were among those exiled. His wife had been found in possession of a Mind Reader, a most treacherous evil. Our great Mayor May would have none of it and banished her from our peaceful town. The daughter, a girl most absurdly called Kitten, followed her mother, showing her true colors. But Gary remained. He claimed he had been unaware of his wife’s illicit purchase, so he was allowed to stay most graciously.

And since then, we have all been nothing but kindness to Mr. Smith. We’ve supported him and his decision to stay and even overlooked the fact that he’s a sorry excuse for a man, for what man allows his wife, the recipient of his zap, to buy immoral inventions? And what man shares his zap with a woman who would do such an atrocity? And furthermore, what man let’s his wife and daughter leave without following? But, we all gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Bart wanted to laugh at the blatant lies Cynthia was spouting, but kept reading.

Well, yesterday I heard it on good authority that Gary Smith is married to an adulterer. Lucy Smith, former resident of Felder, is pregnant. Who is the father? Nobody knows. It certainly isn’t her husband. Why should we allow this man to remain among our virtues when he clearly has no respect for them himself. He does not deserve to stay in Felder. His soul mate, wife, and mother of his child is such a disgrace that Gary must be a disgrace also, for does he not house her zap? Is her energy not coursing through his body? Or is it?

Aha! It is clear now, Gary Smith could not have been Lucy Smith’s soul mate. It is impossible. Thus, I hereby lay my claim to have Gary Smith exiled from Felder.

Bart set the pamphlet down and closed his eyes. Poor Gary. Cynthia had done her worst. She gave voice to the fears so many others shared. Everyone wondered why Gary didn’t follow his wife. Everyone wondered because they all assumed that Gary and Lucy had been soul mates. It was unheard of for two people to get married who had not shared their zap. It was considered an abomination. A sin against yourself. Of course, Bart knew before anyone else that they weren’t soul mates. He knew two weeks after Lucy left when the divorce papers showed up. Nobody got divorced anymore because nobody ever needed to get divorced when they married their soul mate. In fact, until the divorce papers showed up, Bart didn’t even know that you still could get divorced. Gary had certainly done a good job of hushing it up. And lord knows Bart never said a word about it.

But now Gary was trapped. He had to respond to Cynthia, but how could he? For once, she was right. Oh yes, her pamphlet was riddled with over exaggerations and lies, but Cynthia was right-Gary and Lucy were not soul mates. He was sure to be exiled. Bart sighed. He felt upset for Gary Smith, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. They weren’t exactly friends. Yesterday was the first time they’d ever exchanged more than their usual good mornings. But for some reason Bart’s heart went out to Gary. He’d witnessed first hand the ridicule and scorn Felder had bestowed on Gary. Not a single soul, Bart included, had tried to sympathize with him. Nobody thought about how hard it must have been for him to have his family ripped away, his only daughter gone. Naturally, many citizens of Felder lost friends and acquaintances over the exile. Mr. Hough still wrote letters to his old friend, though it might be more appropriate to call them diatribes, but nobody scorned him for keeping contact. In fact, a lot of people respected him for trying to show his friend the error of his ways. But, Gary Smith was a different case altogether. Nobody cared that Gary lost his wife and daughter. Nobody cared that he was forced to open Peacocks since he lost his job as an auto salesman. And nobody cared to talk to him.

Suddenly, Bart felt ashamed. For was he not another member of Felder’s community? He, who saw Gary everyday and never even offered a smile.

“God, what kind of a villain am I?” Bart said into the silence of his kitchen. Suddenly the clock signaled that is was time for Bart to go collect the day’s deliveries. With a knot of regret in his stomach, Bart walked to the edge of town to collect any external deliveries dropped off by representative of Rang or Pooch. He found the usual assortment of letters, but ignored most of them, checking to make sure there was one from Kitten. He let out a breath when he saw that there was. “At least Gary will have this to make him feel better.” For Gary was no doubt in a deplorable state after Cynthia’s pamphlet. Deciding to alter his usual route, Bart walked to Peacocks first to check on the poor man.